The hard way of finding home
by LaurandBill-DestinyLove
Summary: Anne Adama is back... AdamaRoslin


- And then he jumped

- And then he jumped! Just jumped! You should've seen his mother's face… Poor woman- Zak always managed to scare her to death!

The President of the 12 Colonies was laughing helplessly in the conference room of Galactica instead of reading the agenda. The cause, as always, was one very amusing Admiral decided to give them a short break between two 3-hour meetings. But the break was over soon as the ship announced action station. The President and The Admiral hurried to the CIC .

- Mr. Gaeta, report!

- Dradis contact, sir. But… we are receiving Colonial signals. The ship is one of ours!

To find a lost Colonial ship after 2 years was something big. All the crew of Galactica was waiting it to land…

- Are we sure this isn't some Cylon trick? - whispered Laura in Bill's year.

- No, we aren't. But we'll see soon. - The fierce look on the Admiral's face told her that whoever was in this ship, they must be really convincing in their humanity unless they wanted to deal with Adama.

One by one, from the opened hatch were emerging Colonial pilots, obviously exhausted but also very happy. All the crew welcomed them with cheers. Bill saw Chief hugging one of the pilots, then another and another, Saul Tigh following his example. Saul Tigh, the man who hugged even him on very rare occasions. This was really something big Bill smiled ready to ask for silence and to make a speech. And then he saw her… walking out of the ship… a skinny woman with brown hair and shy smile…

Laura let herself flow with the joy of the others and her own… 20 colonial pilots, 20 young lost souls returning to their family. 20 was important number. As important as 50, 000. Even more. But when she turned to Bill to share her thoughts, she noticed that he was absolutely dumbfounded. She followed his gaze to see something which made her heart sink. One. One was the only important number for him in that minute. One person, one wife, coming from the dead. Laura felt it rather than knew it that she was Anne. Anne, returning to her home on Galactica, returning to Bill. And it felt piercing. And it felt painful.

Bill couldn't move or say anything. Just stared back at his wife. Anne was the one to run into his arms and hug him tightly. The crew, who went silent since the minute they recognized the woman in front of their military commander, burst into cheers again. It was a day for celebration.

After Anne left Bill's arms he turned to Laura and introduced her

- Anne, this is Laura Roslin, The President of the Colonies. Madam President, this is Anne, my wife.

Laura offered her hand in greeting, using her most Presidential and meaningless smile.

- I'm so happy to see that you're alive, - she heard herself saying as if from another room.- It's an honor to have the Admiral's wife on board.

- Admiral's? - Anne turned to Bill confused. - What did I miss?

He laughed

- You have no idea…

Laura saw his happiness and noticed that the Adama glare was over. Even if this woman was a cylon, he wouldn't give a frak. She was his wife. Laura felt something strange rising in her stomach and making her unable to speak. She felt a strong need this woman to be a cylon. _What the frak?? Where did this come from??_

- If you'll excuse me, Admiral, I have to speak with Tory about this new situation and then I will be back for the interrogation…

- Do you mind if I take the interrogation personally, Madam President?

Of course. She felt stupid. He can't interrogate his own wife in front of her. But he wasn't objective. She needed to be there. Just because she was objective. Nothing more. Absolutely nothing.

- I'm sorry but I insist on this one.- She answered with stern voice, feeling that awkward thing rising like a beast in her chest. Bill looked her more carefully this time but whatever he wanted to say, he kept it for him.

- As you wish, Madam President. We are waiting for you in the conference room.

_We??_ She couldn't stand this anymore so just nodded and left as quickly as possible.

Bill felt something was wrong with Laura bit the woman next to him was a biggest mystery right now so he left the redhead confusion for other time.

Half an hour later, entering with Anne in his quarters, he felt awkward… even during their marriage he didn't invite her often and for more than one night on his ship… She, on the other side, seemed to feel absolutely comfortable. He offered her a drink which she accepted gratefully and both of them sit on the sofa.

- So… what an interesting surprise… you were the last person I expected to see emerging from that ship…

Bill murmured more to himself than to her. She laughed. He felt something gripping his heart... Someone else's laugh before 2 hours, echoing into the conference room…

- You seem shocked, Bill. - Anne noted with confusion. - Aren't you happy to see me?

- Of course I'm happy to see you! - He exclaimed, he really was. But…. Not in the way one husband should be happy about the returning of his lost wife. He felt more like he found his sister.

- I'm just… everything happened so quickly… give me some time to breathe.

- As an admiral and a participant in 2 wars you souldn't have a problem with surprising situations and dealing with them- she whispered. - Maybe I can help with that.

She leaned and kissed him. He answered her slowly, not deepening the kiss. Just a touching of lips. And then he stepped back. The deep confusion in his wife's eyes made him feel like an asshole. He returned and gave her one passionate deep kiss. She answered with a great enthusiasm. Bill couldn't get rid of the sensation of… _nothing_…. This kiss was a duty, an obligation… empty act… nothing more…nothing more… the buzz of the phone rescued him.

- Adama.

- Sir, the President and Colonel Tigh are waiting in the conference room for the interrogation.

- Thank you, Mr. Gaeta. I'm on my way.

William and Anne Adama entered the room where the captain of the new ship was waiting into a strange silence.

- Sorry for the delay.

- No problem, Admiral, we perfectly understand the circumstances- smiled Tigh for a first time from many, many weeks.

The President remained serious and just suggested to start quickly. Laura, on the other side, just feared that if she says something more than the professionalism required, she could just sink into the floor. Or start breaking pencils. Or maybe even something bigger than pencils.

**2 hours later**

- So you took the last ship, saving Ms. Adama and escaped from new Caprica and hided in that nebula for 3 years? - She didn't want to sound so arrogant and disdainful and honestly bitchy with the poor captain and (no, not the poor- she is not even close to poor) Admiral's wife? The story was perfectly believable. What the frak was her problem anyway? Laura took a deep breath. - Sorry if I sound a bit harsh, but after all we've been through we must be very careful with the new passengers.

- No offense, madam President- said in one voice Anne and the captain.

- So I think we are done here. I don't have more questions. You, Madame President? - Bill's question was more like a require. Now Laura felt like a bitch. What the frak did she want from these people? Where did the joy of the returning of 20 lost souls go?

- No, I don't have either. This meeting is over, gentlemen, Ms. Adama. - Laura had difficulties pronouncing that surname. She left the room again in a rush but not before hearing Tigh's suggestion to take Bill's shift in order to give him one free evening (…and a night, obviously) with his wife. The strange feeling in her stomach hit her like a bullet. She needed Colonial One, water and silence.

In the same time, Bill wanted silence and privacy too. But his wife wasn't exactly giving them. And the fault wasn't hers. He was the one acting like an idiot. Laura's behavior during the day was painful to see. He wanted so much to call her, like so many evenings before, to hear her silky voice and to fall asleep with the memory of her laugh… He shook his head- what the hell are you thinking about? This is your wife in front of you, waiting to break 3 hours of awkward silence!

- Um… well… what did you do all this time on that ship?

Anne sighed…

- Honestly? I was thinking about you and how to find you.

- You knew I'm alive? I couldn't possibly accept the idea of your death in my mind.

Bill felt even guiltier for accepting so easily the idea of her death.

- It was a hard time for all of us…- mumbled he.

- Yes, it was. But the most important is that now we found each other again. It sounds soapy, I know… but it's true…

Was it? Bill felt the exact opposite way- loosing somebody, loosing… Laura… he managed to give her a weak smile and stood to get the empty plates.

**After an hour**

- Bill, aren't we too careless about your duties? You should be in bed now. - Anne's playfull voice made him wanting to hit himself with something heavy. This was what he was trying to escape from since the beginning of the evening… And the situation was becoming more and more dangerous as Anne approached him on the coach, sliding her hands over his chest and planting kisses on his neck… Bill knew that what would follow wasn't going to be nice. He stand up and left the coach.

- I'm sorry, Anne. But… everything is so complicated and… I can't…

She sighed again. Something wasn't right.

- Is there someone else, Bill?

- What? No! No! I'm just overloaded right now!

He hugged her soothingly. She smiled.

- I see… I'll give you all the time you need.

Bill could breathe again.

- So I'm taking the couch and you can have the rack- said he. Too quick move. Anne turned into his embrace stunned.

- There is no need to sleep in different beds only because you don't want to have sex with me. We can still sleep together on your rack.

Bill swallowed. He knew that. But right now he needed air. And he felt such guilt every time he touched her although these touches meant nothing for him... He still felt awfully guilty… guilty towards Laura…

- Anne… please, let's just leave it that way now, OK? - He was exhausted. She sensed it and didn't insist. But by the silence which followed the rest of the evening, Bill knew that sooner or later he must explain his actions. It would be great if when that moment comes, he could explain them at least to himself…

**2 nights later, 3 am**

Everyone was asleep. Everyone, except the fleet Admiral who was shifting into the couch and cursing himself. 3 years. She was gone only for 3 years! After 10 years marriage this couldn't mean that much! But it did. Bill remembered those months of separation from Laura during the cylon occupation of New Caprica… how many nights he couldn't think of anything but her… and how he had missed her and how he had met her in the hangar deck during the evacuation… how many different emotions had been burning inside him… how she had looked more beautiful and more irresistible than ever… They knew each other only for an year before this but still their reunion had been so different than that with Anne… no trace from the indifference he treated his wife… and now he couldn't sleep 3dt night because of these memories… and because of the fact Laura has been totally missing for 2 days… no calls, no briefings, nothing. And as much as he liked the fact that she is giving him more space, he longed to see her… Since the moment he gave Anne that kiss-obligation, he has been thinking of something else… of someone else whom Bill wanted to kiss…. Without feeling obliged…

**The next morning, CIC**

- You know, Bill, if you keep coming here looking so miserable and excusing yourself with bad sleep, I will start screaming. - noted Colonel Tigh angrily.- I wouldn't mind if you were not sleeping because of some other actions with your newly found wife, but to do nothing with her and still to come here with this sleepy-cat face, this is more than I can take! Why don't you just go and frak that Gods damned President and be done with it!

- Watch your words, officer! - Bill released his Adama glare with all the possible fury he had (and he had a lot lately) but it didn't have the desired effect.

- Seriously, Old Man, I had no idea that this frakking woman has enchanted you so badly. - Saul whispered this time, becoming more concerned than angry or sarcastic. Bill didn't seem surprised by the analysis Saul had just made- he always noticed things like that. But he was not going to continue this now.

- Saul, this is not the time and the place to discuss this. - His voice was like steel. Saul took a look at him, shrug his shoulders and shaking his head, started to check the systems- he hasn't seen his friend so confused for decades… This was going out of control…. There were some things even the mighty Adama could not control.

… and he was not the only one…

**3 weeks later.**

Laura Roslin was alone. No, she was alone and lonely. Just getting started to learn what a real loneliness means. The cold dinner on the desk. The hard sleep. The hard dreams after the sleep finally came. The cup of coffee, replacing real breakfast. The silence in the morning when she released Tory. The cold short meetings with Admiral Adama. Without a break for jokes. The lunch in the corridor before a Quorum meeting. The meaningless walks through the whole Colonial One when she had free time. Only because she couldn't stand the coldness of her office. The silence of the phone…

First Elosha, after that Billy, now Bill- they all left her because of events which they couldn't control. Laura curled on the bed, suppressing a sob. Those 3 weeks have been the worst in her life. She was learning to be lonely. The lessons were painful.

Laura haven't ever realized how much she relied on Bill's phone calls which from formal always become informal, the dinners in his quarters, the questions what did she eat for breakfast and lunch, the drink after a hard day, the official meetings with those breaks full with funny stories and laugh, the time they always spent together after the meetings- at least an hour in talking, walking through Galactica or resting in his couch. Bill was the only constant in her life after Billy and Elosha. Now he was gone. Cold, during the meetings, always in a hurry to get home after them, never stopping for a break, never calling her, sending her documents through Colonel Tigh or officer Dualla, never asking what she had for breakfast or lunch. Only 2 invitations for dinner with him, Anne and Lee which Laura politely but harshly declined. She didn't want to feel awkward in so warm family atmosphere. Family… something Bill had back. She had to be happy for him, damn it!! She behaved like a selfish bitch! What dud she expected from Bill- to hug her on the hangar deck and to want divorce? To admit his eternal love for the President of the Colonies leaving one woman who could give him much more than Laura could give him her time, all of her attention her unconditional support. Laura couldn't give him these things- she had no time for love, no time for attention for anyone but the fleet and she could never agree with him only because she loves him….. Wait? What? She loves him? Did she love him? Did Laura Roslin love Bill Adama? Oh…. No…. this was more than she could possibly take… she couldn't afford to be a lovesick schoolgirl, running after a man who obviously didn't even remember her existence. She was just the President now. He had a woman to share his drinks, his coach, and his bed… his life… Laura bit her lips painfully. There are some advantages of the new found loneliness… noone could hear her sobs.

- Madame President? Madame President? - Tor was having a hard time waking up Laura from the floor she had fallen asleep.

- What? - She asked sheepishly. - Is it time for the Quorum meeting?

- Yes, its time. - Her aide looked at her concerned. Laura Roslin never fall asleep on the floor, even when she had cancer, according to her dead aide Billy… What was harder than the cancer which made her act like this?

Bill came back in his quarters with a broken heart. He saw how exhausted, pale, skinny and sad Laura was during their meeting. He fought the urge to stand and take her in his arms all the time these 3 weeks but today it was more painful than ever. Not that anyone noticed. No, the Presidential façade was there, the fake smile and polite phrases used suitably….but he learnt to decipher her a long time ago. He knew he was the problem. And he knew that this was the right decision. To stop all contact with her and act professionally. This was the only way. He didn't trust himself enough even to call her on the secure line.

- Problems at work? - Asked Anne with a tired smile. She already knew the answer.

But this time there was not even an answer. He just threw his files on the desk and laid down on the couch. The mumbled "I have a headache" was really the end of Anne's patience. It was time to do something.

- Madame President, Anne Adama is here and wants to speak immediately with you.

Laura raised her head in surprise.

- Let her come in.

This was the last person she wanted to see in this galaxy.

- Yeah, same here- answered a dry voice to the obviously said in loud statement of Laura.

- Um… Ms. Adama, what could I do for you? - Laura tried with damage control. It didn't work though…

- Cut the crap, Laura. I'm sick of you!! Every day, every time he comes back from your meetings he has this intoxicated, mesmerized, deep thoughtful, melancholic look on his face like he met with the Gods themselves. Every time! Always you and your problems, always you and you schedule, always you and your wishes. The President would not like that so don't send it to her, I'll deal with it. Oh, the President would not have time for this so leave it to me, I'll deal with it. Oh, the President would want this to be done in that and that way… the President! How pathetic!! And you know what? I can't even accuse you in something! Neither of you! Because I know you're too decent to do anything! But it hurts more, you know? To realize that not my husband's body, but my husband's entire soul is in your hands, yours, entirely yours! That he is so in love that he doesn't even want to see you! I HATE you for that! I HATE you! I HATE you!

Anne Adama collapsed on the floor in uncontrollable sobs. Laura just stood on the other side of the room, too shocked to be able even to move… Her head was spinning wildly, her heart was beating so hard she was afraid it would jump out of her chest, she didn't remember how to breathe, her ears were screaming, her temperature rising, her hands trembling…all the world around her had fallen behind a big smokey curtain… the words "hate" and "love" and "entirely yours" were dancing in her brain, making her want just to faint and never to woke up…

- I don't even know what I'm doing here… You actually don't know anything about his feelings… and his decision was clear- he would never admit them to you… What I'm doing here is actually pushing you towards him… towards the man I love…

She didn't say anything else. Just raised up and walked through the curtain, leaving Laura alone.

After she got home, Anne didn't say a word to her husband who was still lying on the couch and quickly slid into the bedroom. She hadn't got anything else to say. This wasn't her home anymore. Maybe never was.

**The next morning, CIC**

Action Station! Action Station! Dradis contact!

- Admiral, we're pretty bad hit, Colonial One is asking for help too! All the other ships already jumped!

- Tell Colonial One to jump first!

- OK, Sir. Colonial One jumped, Sir.

- Can Galactica make it?

- Yes, Sir, she still can manage.

- So jump! Now!

The batlestar was in chaos. Burning fires, screaming people and ruins were only a few of the bars on Admiral Adama's way. From the very minute the ship jumped, he ran towards the hangar bay. There were no available pilots in there, all consumed by the panic so Bill picked one viper and without any space suit he went directly to Colonial One. Its landing place was the same chaos as Galactgica's with one exception- Tory was waiting from his viper ready to take him to the President.

- Is she alright, Tory? Is The President alright? - He screamed?

- Yes, I think so. She didn't want to go to Galactica to see Cottle, this is why I called you.

Bill shook head in confusion- why she didn't want to see Cottle? At last he managed to find her, secure in one of the quietest places on the ship. Tory left them alone with the clear conscience that she must not be there in this particular moment. Bill approached the sitting on the floor woman without saying a word. He was just speechless. Eventually, he managed to form her name, leaving his mouth more like a prayer, than like a call

Laura…

She raised her eyes to met his- there was so much confusion in that sweet deep ponds… so much confusion… she looked like abandoned child who asks every person on the road where her parents are. But in the same time, there was understanding... she didn't need explanations... he didn't need answers... everything was so clear. Bill sat on the floor, taking that incredible woman in his arms and placing soothing kisses on her hair and forehead.

- Laura…- he repeated, feeling blessed even while he was pronunciating this name.

- What are you doing here? - She asked with an unsteady voice. - Aren't you supposed to be with your wife right now? Checking how is she?

_Anne_… Bill remembered her for a first time from 6 hours… he totally forgot about her being in his quarters during the battle… He didn't even for a second hesitate where to go when he had a chance to get out of CIC… Laura was his only concern… the fear what was happening with her filled all of his thoughts… nothing else mattered but her…

- You forgot about her. - Laura stated.

- Laura… I…

- Just go. Go. Your wife is waiting for you.

Something in the harshness of her voice made him shiver. One decision, made before a couple of weeks, was starting its own denial. He couldn't give up on that woman. It was something beyond his responsibilities to his wife. So far beyond. It was about finding home.

- I will come back, love. I promise. And then I will have the full right to hold you in my hands.

She raise her eyes towards his again- two deep green oceans of belief. And hope. And home. He was always home when he could look into her eyes.

- I love you too much to make you my mistress. I want to make you my heart. I want to make you my home. I will come back, love. I promise.

Alone is Bill's quarters 3 hours after the battle, Anne eventually managed to pack her luggage. Just in time for her husband to return. Bill's look was questioning but not so surprised.

- Where are you going?

- I'll stay in one friend on "The Rising Star".

- Anne… I'm sorry I didn't come immediately... I…

- It's OK. I have never hoped you will. I knew you will go to her.

There was a silence no one could break. Not a heavy one. More understanding. Forgiving. Reconciling. At last Bill smiled

- I have something to tell you.

Anne returned the smile

- I have something to tell you too. But you go first.

- No. You go first.

- OK… Bill, I'm not leaving you, I'm giving you back the taken home. The home I conquered with my sudden appearance here. I'm sorry for taking it away for so long. For taking _her_ away.

- Thank you- was the only thing he managed to whisper.

- Weren't you supposed to tell me something too?

- Yes… yes… I don't want divorce, I want a new beginning for both of us. A new home. I'm sorry for refusing you this home. For refusing you myself.

Anne smiled. And left him. After three days Bill smiled signing the papers. And divorced her. Or at least these were the clear facts. But they, Bill and Anne and Laura, new it was not about the leaving and divorcing, it was about home. When you love somebody, you give him home.

Bill finally had her in his arms and she had him in her arms, completely his, completely hers. And the kiss that followed was nothing but an obligation. It was the biggest celebration of the souls, the sweetest mixture of all the feelings they shared. It was finding home.

_I'm taking kamala again, because my cancer has returned_

She would never forget his face- the anger, the helplessness, the devastating pain in his eyes… Anne's heart broke to pieces… but Laura was with him now, they would fight with this, together, they always did. Anne didn't feel pain anymore- at the end, the man she loved, had found his real home full of the bitter-sweet taste of reality. But still home. For ever. How had she possibly thought even for a minute to steal this from them? It was sacred. Their love. Their home.


End file.
